Pixels

Release year: 2015
My Rating: ★★ out of 5

Tagline: Play for the planet.

Synopsis: Video game experts are recruited by the military to fight 1980s-era video game characters who’ve attacked New York.

Pixels is one of the few Adam Sandler movies I got to see in theaters. I was 15 at the time and was starting to gain a grasp on what made different forms of media good and bad. That didn't stop me from seeing all the negative reviews before I went to see it. And despite the rest of my family quite liking it, I was quite the opposite. I really held a malice for Pixels.

I think it is time I come out to you all…

I am a gamer.

Please do not hold this against me. I can't help who I am. And who I am is a filthy video game lover. And this for sure impacted my enjoyment of Pixels.

Video game movies don't hold quite the same stigma they did in 2015. In the decade since we've had the Sonic the Hedgehog movies and many other better than average video game movies that have changed the curse that seemed to hang over the genre. But back then we only had video game movies that were beyond terrible. Mortal Combat, Resident Evil, the original Super Mario Bros movie. These have all been considered to be some of the worst movies ever made, so there was never an expectation that Pixels would be good. But despite all that it still fell below my expectations.

Pixels feels like a video game movie for people who know nothing about video games. It just feels like a movie saying, "Remember Pac-Man?" "Remember Q*bert?" "Remember Donkey Kong?" "Remember Space Invaders?", like its trying to make people feel like they actually know something about video games because they knew what the media was like 30 years ago. The implementation of video game history feels shallow, which was incredibly disappointing to me. I want a video game movie made by people who have the same love for them like I do. Not people who seemed like they made fun of gamers in high school.

Saying all this probably makes me come across as a total dork. I feel like I'm the personification of 🤓☝ being like "erm, actually Tetris originally came out in 1984 which means that the aliens couldn't use that game since they got all their earth knowledge from 1983." And I totally am. That might just be the 15 year old who first watched this movie speaking just looking for ways to say why Pixels is so bad. 

But, even still Pixels is just not a good movie. The Adam Sandler part of the movie is so standard and boring; you've seen it in so many of his recent movies. He's kind of a loser, spends the whole movie trying to get a woman way out of his league, and then impresses her with his epic gamer skills. But when this movie goes outside of that it goes from boring to baffling. First off, Adam Sandler's childhood friend, played by Kevin James, is the PRESIDENT?! HUH?! Okay, maybe this was a bit more ridiculous in 2015 when we didn't have 12 straight years of, well, you know. Another thing I don't like is Josh Gad. He's just here to be your stereotypical gamer, and it gets so grating fast. We get it, he's weird, he's annoying, he's horny.

And then, I don't really know how to throw this out there but it needs to be said. At the end of the movie, Q*bert turns into the sexy video game lady Josh Gad has a creepy obsession with, and then he starts making out with it. Sandler remarks "doesn't this weird anyone else out? That was just Q*bert!". Yes, yes it does. Then it flashes forwards to the future showing little Q*bert babies. Hmph…

When I originally watched Pixels, I think this was the first Adam Sandler to bring me into his hate camp. By now I had seen more bad movies than good, and in the moment, it seemed like the movie to show how bad of a filmmaker he really is. Crazy that I can track down all those negative feelings I've had for him back to watching this movie. And now to come back 8 years later for Sandlerfest it's crazy how my perspective shifted. It's not like I had become massive fan or anything, but watching 30 of his movies at least made me respect him, even like him. And did rewatching Pixels really bring out that hate in me again? 

With everything I've said here, maybe when you watch this movie with a whole group of gamers who have seen every other Adam Sandler movie, this Pixels starts to get a little fun. It's a nonsense movie, but you know what, I've missed that! This feels like the first Adam Sandler movie to make me feel something in a while. We, as a group, were able to get rowdy throughout this movie. Maybe Jash Gad dorkin' Q*bert doesn't seem so bad anymore.

Also, the effects in this movie are gorgeous. The art style for all the pixelated creatures is really inspired. Maybe this movie is worth a watch just to see all that. Just make sure you've got a cocktail in your hand and some gamer friends on the couch to watch it with.